that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
