ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
