we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
