I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
