I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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