I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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