there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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