I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
