Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
