Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Couch. On fire.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
