So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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