Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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