so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
