8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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