ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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