I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
