the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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