is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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