I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize