So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
