They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
