Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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