Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
