today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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