It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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