He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
