i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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