It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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