Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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