i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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