wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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