One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
