is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
