so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
