Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
