He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize