just come out here and I will go home with you...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
