so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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