I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
