just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
