My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
