just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's never too late to be topless.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
