You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
