is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
