i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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