I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
