Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
