Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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