I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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