i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
