i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
