well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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