oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
