You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
